Top Ten Worst Popular Songs of 2018

Because I hate myself, I listen to modern radio a lot. And while I do find a lot of it good/passable, there are some repulsive pieces of popular music out there that just makes me want to rant about it till the New Year. See as this man with the black tie, wishing to listen to the white noise tell you the worst hit songs of 2018.

10. DJ Khaled feat. Chance the Rapper, Justin Bieber, and Quavo : "No Brainer"

This song is stupid, even by pop music standards. A recycled version of DJ Khaled's slight but charming "I'm The One," it gets rid of the most lyrically-potent and -experienced of that posse (Lil Wayne), and goes for a copy-paste method of trying to recreate the magic of the first, falling short because, no brainer, doing exactly the same thing creates diminishing results.

9. Post Malone feat. Ty Dolla $ign - "Psycho"

Post Malone is depressingly boring. And for a song named after a still-horrifying film, it also sounds limp and boring like the beat decided to kill itself before Post Malone could rap on it. Just a nothing of a song.

8. Bebe Rexha and Florida-Georgia Line - "Meant to Be"

Supposed to be Bebe Rexha's star moment, it only shows how bone-headed and insincere country music is while offering sad predictions for the future of country-pop crossovers. And when I say "insincere," I mean there's no commitment, no heart put into the singing and the writing and the composition of the work. If Bebe Rexha wants to be close to someone like Ariana Grande's level, she needs to learn how to sell her songs better.

7. Kane Brown - "Heaven"

Same as "Meant To Be," it's too insincere to function as a good romantic pop song, or even a good country song. Minus one for the terrible pick-up line.

6. Marshmello and Anne-Marie - "Friends"

A condescending concept that just baffles the mind as to why anyone would use this. If you want to tell someone that you're better off as friends, this song is not the way to do it, since it's mostly just a passive-aggressive powertrip made with a passable beat whose toxic messaging just boggles the mind.

5. 6ix9ine - "Gummo"

4. 6ix9ine feat. Nicki Minaj and Murda Beatz - "Fefe"

6ix9ine is a repulsive piece of shit whose music reflects his garbage personality, and if I could fill this list with all his songs, I would. He only had two hit songs this year, though, so there you go.

3. Kanye West and Lil Pump - "I Love It"

Kanye West is one of my musical heroes, a legend amongst men, so 2018 was a big disappoint to be a fan of his. Ignoring the public statements and the Donald Trump support, the most baffling thing about West is releasing this half-assed single where Lil Pump, out of all people, out-raps him with a beat that's as nonexistent as it is repelling. I want to love the guy like I used to, but this is making it hard to do so.

2. Maroon 5 feat. Cardi B - "Girls Like You"

Fuck off with your boring, overexposed, underwritten music, Maroon 5. This wouldn't be on the list, honestly, if it wasn't such a big hit that it forced itself on my ears. But it did, and I hated it the first time I heard it, and I heard it again, and again, and again. So yeah, I hate this song.

1. Lil Dicky feat. Chris Brown - "Freaky Friday"

It's not funny to glorify abusers. And Lil Dicky does not make a case for us to laugh at or with Chris Brown, whether it's within the "controversial past" or outside of it. The song fails at its basic job of making us laugh, whitewashes the past of a domestic abuser, and production-wise is uncreative. That's why it's the worst song of 2018.

Dishonorable mentions:

Ed Sheeran's "Perfect"

Camila Cabello's "Never Be The Same"

Migos feat. Drake's "Walk It Talk It"

Sheck Wes' "Mo Bamba"